The 'Lady' Upstairs

Never have I considered coming to an age when I would be referred to as 'lady.' I look in the mirror and while I'm painfully aware that tiny wrinkles are starting to form around my eyes and saggy skin around my jaw, I still see a young girl. I feel energetic most days and don't dress like I'm 50. I am young as far as years-of-life go! The real youngsters don't agree.

The first time it occurred was when an 18-year-old and a 19-year-old moved into the apartment below me and my husband. I don't remember exactly what I heard them saying, but I was definitely referred to as 'the lady upstairs.' My face looked like this:  =-0

I told my husband - 'I'm the lady upstairs!!' He just laughed at my shock and horror.

The second time was when I was driving down the street. I was heading to pick up my husband from his grandmother's house and while attempting not to hit two young people who were driving past me on a quad, one yelled 'Come onn lady!' Guess I was driving too slow...

So it's official. When I walk past the strapping young men at the mall, and I think they are probably checking out my hot, young bod (lol), they are actually thinking 'What is wrong with this lady?' This realization wont stop me from exercising, buying fashionable clothes and using wrinkle cream to prolong feeling young! Okay, I haven't gotten to the wrinkle cream stage yet, but if I'm called lady by a stranger again, it might just happen.

Julia

Time heals all wounds. Should it?

I’m sitting in my favorite coffee shop with the purpose of a very sad attempt at being productive. I’m, of course, eaves dropping and people watching instead of working.

A man and a woman near to me are sitting across from each other having a conversation, staring deeply into one another’s eyes, not drifting away for a second.  The intensity of their eye contact can only lead me to assume that there is a mutual attraction.

“I just need time before I can let myself get that close again. I need time to heal,” the man said.  Head nod. Fake smile. Pessimistic laugh.

Okay, now I’ll never get work done.

Obviously, I don’t know the circumstances, but that statement is surely powerful—cliché as well. At least once in our lives, we have said or will say something similar.

As Cheryl Crow belts out how she’s leaving Las Vegas over the stereo speakers I can only think of one thing.

Should time heal all wounds?

I look at the pair in the coffee shop and all I think is, “Get over it!” He cares about her or he wouldn’t have agreed to meet, on neutral territory, for coffee—another cliché.

Gosh just kiss her already! “Love” heals all wounds!

That’s a lie.

I have loved and I have had my heartbroken. I have even forgiven when I should not have. The ship had already sailed. The book rental was past due. If I stayed any longer,  I would not have healed no matter how much I loved. Walking away definitely made things better for everyone.

Back to time.

What if you need more time than the other? The other can’t wait any longer and when you realize you’re all healed up, it’s too late?  Then you need more time to heal all over again. Gosh, this is starting to sound like a romantic comedy.

The term is circumstantial. For love, you will heal the more removed your are from a situation.  You heal because you don’t have to think about that person anymore.  Just like Cheryl Crow leaving and starting anew in her song.

However, if that situation comes back to haunt you, no matter how many years removed, you’ll always feel a twinge of something. It will drudge up feelings you thought disappeared over time. 

It might not hurt as bad and it might not even bother you, but the scars are still there.  And those scars might open.

Perhaps they should. If you've been hurt to the point where you voice that you need time, then you should learn something from it. 

These two are definitely into each other. Maybe they’re no good for each other. It could be a poisonous relationship. In that case, they don’t need to heal their feelings for each other, they need to move along.

It’s okay to heal, not to forget.

  

-s